About a month ago, back before that Wal-Mart Employee was trampled to death, I wrote a gadget gift guide for the Chronicle. This time of year, you can’t comb through so much as December’s Soldier of Fortune without being bombarded by gift guides and best of lists. But it was while perusing the In Style Gift Guide at the Walgreen’s checkout that I first felt a need to combine the two. And so I present to you my “Best of the 2008 Holiday Gift Guides” or “What You Should Have Gotten Me Instead”. With only three shopping days left, it would take a real Christmas miracle to get your hands on these items in time, but here they are anyway. In no particular order:
1. When it’s 34 degrees Fahrenheit outside, and you’re using the kitchen oven as both a desk and a heater, this handsome thermos seems necessary:

Put some white hot clam chowder in it, then carry it like a briefcase to a cold park bench somewhere and have hot soup, even though it’s freezing outside. Doubles as a lethal weapon. Via Cool Hunting.
2. I couldn’t make clam chowder if I tried. But if I did try, I would want to fail using this these pretty nesting bowls:

Yes, I’m into cookware. And I’m into things that save space. But especially space saving cookware. Via Cool Hunting.
3. You thought I was done with cookware? No way. Get a load of this collapsible colander:

My favorite things are always collapsible. Via MoMA.
4. Okay. I’m done with cookware. But not collapsible things. Check out this COLLAPSIBLE BIKE:

It’s so cute, you’ll just want to carry it around like a little chihuahua. Via MoMA.
5. Though everything may be cold and dead outside right now, one day the weather will warm enough to sustain plant life once again. And when that day comes, this plant sensor can evaluate your soil, then tell you what will grow well in it:

For people who don’t like to read gardening books. Via Cool Hunting.
6. Even though I never go camping, I’ve always wanted one of these little stoves. In case my gas gets turned off.

This thing is called the Reactor, and it’s the fastest boiling, most fuel efficient stove system ever made. Via Cool Hunting.
7. The new Lite-Brite, which is now called the Bandai Luminodot Lite-Brite HD Board:

It now comes with software. Via Cool Hunting.
8. I thought I was done with cooking stuff. But I couldn’t resist this, the George Foreman Fryer:

Just when you thought George was done, he bounces back with this fryer, which knocks out fat using a spinning mechanism. What will he come up with next? Via George.
9. You know what happens when you leave your tea strainer to rot in a pint glass for a week? Irreversible mildew damage. Look what happened to mine:

That thing looks like it belongs in a museum, right? It was time to step up my tea strainer game anyway. BAM:

This beauty is even designed to collect the tea drops in that little spoon thing when you take it out of the glass. They thought of everything. Via Cool Hunting.
10. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a sucker for twee drain stoppers:

So what? Via MoMA.
11. Only my best friends know that I’m into authentic fake fruit. I’ve seen a lot of fake fruit in my day, and this apple looks the realest:

Made of porcelain, available in Fuji or Granny Smith. Via Curiosity Shoppe.
12. For years, I’ve been collecting exotic tape. I’ve even shown off some of my collection here. This year, unusual tape finally reached the tipping point. Every gift guide around had some kind of tape on their list. Because people want to wrap gifts with unusual tape. Here are some of the best:
Lace tape:

Personally, this tape just seems too sexy for practical, everyday use. I’d like to have it, but I can’t imagine what I’d use it for. Framing? I don’t know. Via Matter Matters.
Calendar tape:

Do you like to doodle? Me too. I’d draw all over this calendar tape. Maybe even make an appointment. Or a list. Via Greener Grass Design.
Graphic grid tape:

I bet Takashi Murakami ships all his art using this stuff. Via Fred Flare.
Plaid tape:

Real Home Improvement tape right here. Perfect for quick flannel jacket fixes. Via L. L. Bean, of course.
Navaglow tape:

I would replace Scotch tape with this vaguely Native American stuff. Way more spirit. Via Cool Hunting.
AND FINALLY, I would like to leave you with the ultimate stocking stuffer. I can’t endorse it strongly enough. The Bic 4-Color Pen:

Who doesn’t love these things? I once bought my dad a case of them for Christmas. They were a hit. Because everyone will steal them from you, I recommend buying in bulk via ebay.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Tags: best of 2008, best of 2008 gift guides, Bic 4-color pen, collapsible cookware, cool hunting gift guide, fake fruit, fancy tape, george foreman fryer, gift guide, lite-brite, matter matters, MoMA gift guide, plaid tape, plant sensor, stanley thermos, strida bike, tea strainer